Glimpses and Choices

This weekend I got a glimpse of things that I didn't really like. I didn't need the magic mirror but I find it ironic that I tend to have a living walking mirror walking around in my little niece. She stayed with me this weekend. Today as we got up neither of us felt very good due to the change in weather affecting both of our allergies. We decided to take things a little easy today . I still ask her to go and take a shower and get herself ready though because her daddy would be picking her up later in the day. Everything was fine until I ask her to take care of her own hair. You see, my niece has very curly hair that if not maintained with a moisturizer on a daily basis it can cause a severe catastrophy that can only be solved by a long shower and LOTS of conditioner and LOTS of moisturizer. She took care of the first part but did not want to follow through with the second. She has this thing about not liking lotion or any type of cream on her hands because of the way it feels. I explained she could was her hands just like I do.

BAM

I had rocked her world. I told her something she did not like to hear and did not want to hear at that moment and she was furious. I could see it on her face. She got very quiet and began to whine a little begging me to do it for her. I repeated that I would not. She finally began working on her hair herself, but her anger remained their and began to grow. She just got quieter and did not want to talk calmly about it. A few moments later as I turned around I noticed her wiping her hands on my sheets. She didn't wash them. She just wiped them on my sheets. This made me furious. I now needed to make a choice. I could act in anger and give her an example of handling her anger another bad way or I could calm myself and immediately ask for God's help to restrain all of my emotion and my tongue. I had seen in her so much of me and the old way of handling my anger in that one moment that I know I needed to make the right decision. I needed to talk to her calmly. Every part of my being begged for God's control in my life at that one moment. I needed His strength.

As I began to talk to her she began to lie. Not exactly something that helps my anger by the way but God was there. I stopped talking and pointed it out and then stopped until we both had a while to think the situation over and let her know I would come back to it.

Thank you God for your strength and guidance. Thank you for loving me and teaching me better ways to live my life. Thank you for my living little mirror which challenges me each day.

Sovereignty

"It is easy, terrible easy, to shake a

 man's faith in himself. To take advantage

 of that to break a man's spirit, is devil's work."

(G.B. Shaw: Candida)

The human spirit is a very fragile thing I have found. It can be broken very easily. God has been convicting me a lot lately but I thank Him generously that He has given me discernment to tell the difference between His spirit and that of the world. Words are very powerful things that can break the human spirit within a second. Most of my life I have had an alcoholic in my life in one way or another. Several years ago I began attending Al-anon meetings and I was given a daily devotional book called One Day At A Time in AL-ANON that I read out of today. It reminded me that those people in my life that have hurt me in my past through their alcoholism are still children of God that are still entitled to my respect and consideration each day. Yes they caused pain and hurt but my returning that with contempt for their actions, indignation at the neglect of their obligations, and behavior which destroys their egos will only cause them to be destroyed more and to inflict damage upon ourselves. 

Several years ago, I noticed that I was so angry with the things that others had done to me that I was becoming something that I myself couldn't even stand and had always hated. I had been that person who was killing someone else's spirit through my words because of my anger and ended up killing my self inside as well. Today I realized that God was asking me again to take notice to make sure I was not wanting this same thing in my heart again. I had not been doing it. You see I am having to make a lot of decisions that could change my life a lot and in doing so I must ask who else my decisions could affect. Then I must ask if it does affect another, then am I acting out of past feelings or out of what is best for all involved. Then I realized that either way I just needed to continue to pray, Listen, and wait for God to answer. The rest is in His hands. I can no longer focus on the reactions or actions of others. I can only make a decision and realize that His plan will still either way come into existence because He has what is best for me in mind somewhere in there. He is a sovereign God who is in control and knows what is going to happen.