Sovereignty

"It is easy, terrible easy, to shake a

 man's faith in himself. To take advantage

 of that to break a man's spirit, is devil's work."

(G.B. Shaw: Candida)

The human spirit is a very fragile thing I have found. It can be broken very easily. God has been convicting me a lot lately but I thank Him generously that He has given me discernment to tell the difference between His spirit and that of the world. Words are very powerful things that can break the human spirit within a second. Most of my life I have had an alcoholic in my life in one way or another. Several years ago I began attending Al-anon meetings and I was given a daily devotional book called One Day At A Time in AL-ANON that I read out of today. It reminded me that those people in my life that have hurt me in my past through their alcoholism are still children of God that are still entitled to my respect and consideration each day. Yes they caused pain and hurt but my returning that with contempt for their actions, indignation at the neglect of their obligations, and behavior which destroys their egos will only cause them to be destroyed more and to inflict damage upon ourselves. 

Several years ago, I noticed that I was so angry with the things that others had done to me that I was becoming something that I myself couldn't even stand and had always hated. I had been that person who was killing someone else's spirit through my words because of my anger and ended up killing my self inside as well. Today I realized that God was asking me again to take notice to make sure I was not wanting this same thing in my heart again. I had not been doing it. You see I am having to make a lot of decisions that could change my life a lot and in doing so I must ask who else my decisions could affect. Then I must ask if it does affect another, then am I acting out of past feelings or out of what is best for all involved. Then I realized that either way I just needed to continue to pray, Listen, and wait for God to answer. The rest is in His hands. I can no longer focus on the reactions or actions of others. I can only make a decision and realize that His plan will still either way come into existence because He has what is best for me in mind somewhere in there. He is a sovereign God who is in control and knows what is going to happen. 

Having Wings

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." 

Do you ever have those moments that you are just so tired and so weary and so exhausted from daily living that you think, "Even if I do pray, I don't know what I am going to say." I had a moment like that today. Things have been going fairly well for me lately overall, but these last few days for me have been what feels like non-stop for some reason. If it isn't for catching up on homework, then I am constantly cleaning up a mess I have made, my puppy has made, or someone who has visited my house has made and left there. I have also been busy babysitting, spending time with my niece, getting appointments in that I need to get taken care of , helping others get their appointments taken care of and running errands for people who are busy during the day when most businesses are open.

 Daily life just sometimes seems to over take us. I don't seem to take or get the time to sit and just breathe sometimes even though I really should. Even though I was slowed down quite a bit due to my spinal disorder several years ago I still keep fairly busy. I try harder now to get that time though. My mind doesn't always slow down though. This is where the weariness catches up to me sometimes and wears me down and makes me tired. Today  I was really tired. Things felt like they were going about three times the speed that my body was going. By six or seven tonight I couldn't really think clearly. All I could say was Okay God" I'm weak, so this is your strongest of all times in me. Please help." I just couldn't get anything else out. The good thing about God though is that He is not like us. He knows exactly what I meant and what I needed at that moment and overall. He lifts us on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. I don't know about you guys but I don't usually fly. Also when I use to run, it definitely was a tiring event. The thing is though that I have also been reading in Acts where Luke writes how after Christ rose from the dead He stayed with the apostles for many days so that no one could dispute He was really there first of all but that He wanted to let them know how He was going to leave the Holy Spirit here with us to guide us and comfort us and speak for us. You see, when I couldn't speak tonight, it was okay because the spirit spoke for me. The Father still got what I needed to say. Isn't that cool? That alone helps me feel like I am gracefully soaring like an eagle free in the sky.