"When my heart was embittered, and
I was pierced within, Then I was
senseless and ignorant; I was like a
beast before Thee. Nevertheless
I am continually with Thee;
Thou has taken hold of my right hand.
With thy counsel Thou wilt guide me.
And afterward receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but Thee?
And besides Thee, I desire nothing
on earth. My flesh and heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart
and my portion
Psalm 73:21-26 (NASB)
Letting go has never been one of my strong points. I have spent the last several years working on it and admit I have gotten better but still not great at it. When I don't let go though, I tend to have lots of baggage and lots of trash like bitterness and anger build up inside just like an old abandoned building that others tend to dump there things into but never clean out. It begins to look nasty and ugly inside and the overall feeling is just disgust. I just thank God that He is patient with me and that my ignorance and senselessness does not cause Him to leave me. My flesh and my heart may fail me but God never will. His love is forever and it will always be unconditional and never change. Some see this as a right to do as they please but it isn't. When someone loves you that much it tends to make you want to live better and serve them in some way. This isn't always the case but if you truly accept the love God is giving you then it is more likely. This is not to say I will never be senseless or ignorant again but only that my desire is to serve God more and more each day. I can only pray that I will one day be perfect enough not to have the senseless in my life. But I must focus on that day when Christ returns and there is no more of it. The more I look at the way He desires me to live the more I see I have so much to work on and this causes me to depend on Him even more. It draws me closer to Him and I can only thank Him for that. The devil wants to prove the opposite to me. He tries to prove to me that when I am senseless and ignorant in situations that God takes His love from me each time. This IS a LIE!!! Satan then tries to seduce with all the things that he has to offer me such as looking at how those who don't love God live. He tries to show me how great they Feel or how much they seem to be gaining in the world around me such as good jobs, money, relationships. But these too are all lies if I focus on the end reward where they loose all this and those who love and live for God gain everything possible.