Sunday, September 14, 2008

Struggles to Victories

I have been struggling a lot lately about where God has been leading me on certain things in my life. I want to know what I am suppose to do when It comes to my finances so I started to take some online classes to try to help myself make a little extra money to suppliment my disability income that I get. I hope to one day not be in so much pain and get back to a point that I can make it through a full day of work and not be so tired or in pain. I have also been struggling over a lot of other issues in my life. I don't have any children of my own but my niece is VERY important in my life after raising her the last five years. We have a very unique bond and a very special one at that. Her growth physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually are all very important to me. When I watch her struggle on a daily basis to make decisions based on peer pressure or pressure due to other things in her life it hurts me severely . Most of the time she is a very happy child but she struggles at times with her self esteem and I already see the people pleasing issues building in her. It breaks my heart when I try so hard to explain to her that it is only important for her to love God and know who she is in Him and to not worry what others think of her. My most recent struggle, at least the one I am willing to share with you, is that I have a Great passion for my church. I have been struggling recently over this because I felt my passion for my church was being over looked no matter how hard I tried to give it to them. Then tonight I had a talk with my small group that I just recently joined. I have been sitting hear thinking about what we talked about and maybe it isn't that my passion is being overlooked. Maybe it is that my passion just needs to be rerouted. If they won't use it at the Central campus or help me to figure out how or where to use it on the new campus since I thought I had to wait for them to okay these things then maybe I should just get some things started on a small scale on my own and use my passion that way and go from there. Don't let others or myself kill my passion or use anything as an excuse. Know who God is and serve Him in anyway I can. He is Big so let Him do the work in me and lead me. Keep my focus on Him and Him alone.

"O Lord, the king rejoices in your strength.
How great is his joy in the victories you give!
You have granted him the desires of his heart
and have not withheld the request of his lips.
You welcomed him with rich blessings and
placed a crown of pure gold on his head.
He asked you for life and you gave it to him---
length of days, for ever and ever. Through the victories you gave,
his glory is great; you have bestowed on him
splendor and majesty."
Psalm 21:1-5 (NIV)

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